Pro Choice and Pro Life

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I have always been opposed to abortion. I’ve also been mostly opposed to abortion laws. I don’t think someone else has the right to decide delicate reproductive choices for others. However, I do feel that we need more education and compassion when dealing with such matters.

A few days ago NY state passed a law that granted a woman permission to end the life of her unborn child at any stage of pregnancy, if the life of the child or mother was in danger.

I tried to avoid the newsfeeds, because it’s an upsetting topic and most conversations are useless, but it was still on my mind. I did make this comment to a friend:

“I can’t imagine killing full term child in utero. It happened to me, but not on purpose. I had a placental abruption.

But to take (commenter) situation. How is it any better to kill a baby before it’s born than to let it die naturally if it isn’t viable?

Giving birth to a dead baby is fucked up enough, having ended that child’s life on purpose is just sick.

Now I don’t support laws that would infringe on that, but who the hell does that?

When they told me William was dead I had to see him. I knew the doctors were right, but miracles do happen. If a doctor had told me he wouldn’t survive after birth I would have given him that chance.

Fuck these woman that kill their babies. Maybe they can give me mine back!”

I was quite emotional at that point but that is how I feel. But I am not advocating for laws to be enforced, I am merely stating my stance on an issue.

A day or so later posted a two inspirational stories on my BLH Page. One was of a woman who was told her baby wouldn’t live. Was told to abort. She didn’t abort and her daughter lived. She has health issues but is a very happy little girl, based on photos and what everyone around her said.

But the child does have costly medical issues. Some have said that children like that should be terminated. Quality of life argument. I read a few comments about stories of women who chose to terminate, and people with disabilities have started they wouldn’t wish this upon anyone, and would abort.

We each have to decide, where is our line drawn. Your line is probably not where mine is. So who’s line do we follow?  It’s a game of tug of war with the far left and the far right.

We have amazing technology to help people who usually wouldn’t get pregnant, have children. We have amazing technology to keep people alive, amazing technology to repair limbs and replace organs. But should we?

All of this is highly energized and widely debated in every group from conversations among friends, to medical reports from well educated doctors to the legislature in many countries. And there will never be an agreement.

So what do we do? How do people like me, people who oppose abortion deal with such issues?

Education. I have learned that yes. There are child bearing women who don’t fully understand the conception and birth process. And don’t knock them, there are quite a few obstetricians that have never seen a fully natural birth. Education can aid in avoiding unwanted pregnancies.

Support. I can’t even imagine why or how someone would dump a newborn baby in a dumpster or in a cooler on the side of the road, but they do. What is the reason women feel abortion or baby dumping is necessary. Let’s not focus on making abortion illegal, let’s focus on removing the perceived need for it.

That’s is a good starting point. If you are doing those two things you have done what you can. But as much as I oppose abortion, I oppose government control more.

My concerns right now aren’t on just abortion, I truly want to understand why someone would choose a late term abortion. If you are a victim of rape or incest, an early abortion was already an option.

In the case of the mothers health, the other story I posted was in regards to cancer. Of course the mother chose the baby and all ended happily ever after. But I know that is not always the case. Would I risk my life to save my child? Most certainly. Would someone else? Maybe not. I am not educated enough to be knowledgeable of all the scenarios in which the life of the mother would be at risk that is not an emergency situation. And in an emergency situation its probably not an abortion but rather a tragic loss. I don’t think those are classified together are they?

In the case of the baby being viable, I’m a bit more judgemental. I understand but don’t agree with purging babies who may or may not be disabled. One situation that has been on my mind for a few days is that it’s emotionally painful for a woman to carry a child who she knows will not survive birth or much past it.

It was almost 11 years ago this photo was taken. This is my daughter Olivia with a dear relative, and her newborn son, Wyatt, who my son Gabriel Wyatt is named for. Wyatt had trisomy 13. Wyatt lived 52 days. I was blessed to have met him.

I can’t even imagine how hard it would be to carry a child who I knew wouldn’t live, but I know not doing it would never be a choice I would make. I try to be rational. I try to understand those what would choose to abort at 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 months even..but I can’t.

Its an emotional train wreck, but so is abortion, especially at that stage. You have to intentionally cause the baby to die inside you, then induce labor which is far more painful than natural labor, possibly a surgical birth, it’s certainly not an easy out.

I can imagine it’s harder to be pregnant for those months knowing the baby likely won’t live.. but in reality, none of us have guarantees after 9 months. I’m sure it’s emotionally painful to carry a child and having people congratulate and comment and know what is really going on inside. That has to be emotionally crushing. But I can’t belive it’s eaiser than making the baby die.

Waiting till birth doesn’t seem to make much difference. The emotional toll is the same I would belive. I don’t know for sure, I only know my experiences and my emotions.

As I said, it’s been on my mind and I was thinking about this all weekend. I was thinking about someones comment regarding the pain of people asking and why some women would choose to terminate. On Saturday a client I don’t see often asked about my baby. He recalled I had a baby a while back. It was a year and a half ago actually.  I had to tell him he was stillborn and not breakdown.

I know how much guilt and pain I feel because at 42 weeks I lost my son to a placental abruption. I can’t ever believe it’s emotionally better for a woman to have a late term abortion. I have tried to see things from the other side.

While I don’t think the government has a right to make laws regarding abortion, I don’t think late term abortions are something a mentally healthy society should be participating in or supporting. This seems to me like the wrong direction.

Just another brick 🧱

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1 Response to Pro Choice and Pro Life

  1. raeraerickyticky says:

    That last picture breaks my heart. I can’t imagine and I am sorry you even went through it. You are an amazing momma and the love is written on your face.

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